Friday, March 26, 2004
3/26/2004
11:44 a.m.
No more attacks. No more criticism. No more suggestions. Just poker, and poker related analogies.
My friendship I have with my sister is more important than my opinion, and as such when I have an opinion it will be kept to myself.
This post is a figurative "olive branch." A peace offering if you will to lay day arms, in this case the almighty pen, and make peace.
As my pirated post of earlier today suggests, I need to choose my battles carefully. Waging war on my sister and her husband is not a battle I wish to continue, perceived or otherwise.
If I have hurt feelings or stepped on toes, I apoligize. If an apoligy in writing is not acceptable, I will personally call and offer my apoligies. Just let me know.
I hope you will accept my apoligy, and trust that it is sincere.
11:44 a.m.
No more attacks. No more criticism. No more suggestions. Just poker, and poker related analogies.
My friendship I have with my sister is more important than my opinion, and as such when I have an opinion it will be kept to myself.
This post is a figurative "olive branch." A peace offering if you will to lay day arms, in this case the almighty pen, and make peace.
As my pirated post of earlier today suggests, I need to choose my battles carefully. Waging war on my sister and her husband is not a battle I wish to continue, perceived or otherwise.
If I have hurt feelings or stepped on toes, I apoligize. If an apoligy in writing is not acceptable, I will personally call and offer my apoligies. Just let me know.
I hope you will accept my apoligy, and trust that it is sincere.
3/26/2004
8:14 a.m.
I subscribe to a weekly newsletter published by Priority Living. This weeks installment is written by Priority Living Founder Bob Shank. I have met Bob Shank on several occasions, and have found him to be a personable guy. I normally gloss over the newsletter, but this week was different. I like what Bob wrote, and would like to share it with you, my limited reading audience.
"Certain things are woven into one's circuitry; there are behaviors that aren't chosen ... instead, they are irrepressible.
Don't know if it's part of the masculine psyche (is it temperament or testosterone?) or my dysfunctional family of origin, but I tend to engage in battles. Everything seems to be a championship-level competition. I've been voted "most likely to be the first one off the plane." After 33 years, Cheri's likely to leave later and drive a separate car: "I'll just meet you there." Board games? Those become a bit intense; haven't opened the Monopoly box in 25 years; it wasn't good for the marriage. My kiddos had some forbidden words in their childhood: "shut up" and "Daddy, are you sure?" carried similar sentences. If I wasn't sure, I wouldn't have said it; if I said it, I'm ready to present a reasoned defense. I'm not out to pick a fight ... but, I'm pretty unlikely to avoid one. That's me ...
One of my most-valued mentors captured my attention, early in the game. I was mid-twenties, already on the career fast track ... and running at the front of most packs of life. My older-and-wiser friend watched me ... and wasn't resistant to commenting. I remember the morning when ...
"Bob," he opened, very directly, "let me give you some counsel. In life, you'll win about seven battles. Choose them carefully." As I recall, I bought breakfast that day. It was a major bargain, believe me.
From that time on, I've never forgotten his perspective. I've never tried to audit his claim; is the number five ... or, eleven? Not critical, really; the point is not lost, no matter the number. All conflicts are not created equal. We have limited time, energy, focus, leverage; using our capacities to win the skirmishes that really count was his point.
I've spent the last 25 years asking myself - frequently - a simple question: is this the hill I want to die defending? The query was seldom, "could I win this if I was willing to go to the mat?" It was, instead, "is this victory worth what it would cost me?"
I watch people - frequently - who "bet the farm" on a relatively-meaningless clash. Often, they win ... and, ultimately, become losers. Picking the right fight is one of life's most strategic skill sets.
Hey, as a real-live, born-again, evangelical, Bible-believing Christian ... there's no lack of opportunity for conflict as we greet the Spring of '04. I can't turn on the TV/open the morning paper/ listen-in on the conversation at the next booth without finding myself at-odds - mentally - with the world around me. Tune in on Christian radio; open those bulk-mail envelopes in your mailbox; listen to Rush ... it isn't hard to get so fired-up that you're ready to put on your cultural Kevlar vest, strap on your munitions belt (we'd probably call it "girding our loins with the belt of truth" or something) and start shootin' at the bad guys who are trying to advance "the ______ agenda." Lock 'n load, baby; we're ready ...
It's not a good time for neutrals; pacifists are still among us ... but they seem to be a newly endangered species. "The lines are drawn in the sand" ... and we're finding our places, near the poles that represent the nonnegotiable extremes.
Right to Life, or abortion-on-demand? Gay marriage ... or a constitutional amendment that will, once and for all, define marriage as "boy/girl?" World Power ... or UN eunuch? Liberal or Conservative? Feminist ... or Chauvinist? Tolerant ... or Evangelical? Lots of battles underway; which one do you want to join?"
Take care, I probably will not post again until after I am settled in Tennessee.
My new address is: 905 Brancaster Lane, Nashville, TN 37211. The phone number is 615.331.1353.
8:14 a.m.
I subscribe to a weekly newsletter published by Priority Living. This weeks installment is written by Priority Living Founder Bob Shank. I have met Bob Shank on several occasions, and have found him to be a personable guy. I normally gloss over the newsletter, but this week was different. I like what Bob wrote, and would like to share it with you, my limited reading audience.
"Certain things are woven into one's circuitry; there are behaviors that aren't chosen ... instead, they are irrepressible.
Don't know if it's part of the masculine psyche (is it temperament or testosterone?) or my dysfunctional family of origin, but I tend to engage in battles. Everything seems to be a championship-level competition. I've been voted "most likely to be the first one off the plane." After 33 years, Cheri's likely to leave later and drive a separate car: "I'll just meet you there." Board games? Those become a bit intense; haven't opened the Monopoly box in 25 years; it wasn't good for the marriage. My kiddos had some forbidden words in their childhood: "shut up" and "Daddy, are you sure?" carried similar sentences. If I wasn't sure, I wouldn't have said it; if I said it, I'm ready to present a reasoned defense. I'm not out to pick a fight ... but, I'm pretty unlikely to avoid one. That's me ...
One of my most-valued mentors captured my attention, early in the game. I was mid-twenties, already on the career fast track ... and running at the front of most packs of life. My older-and-wiser friend watched me ... and wasn't resistant to commenting. I remember the morning when ...
"Bob," he opened, very directly, "let me give you some counsel. In life, you'll win about seven battles. Choose them carefully." As I recall, I bought breakfast that day. It was a major bargain, believe me.
From that time on, I've never forgotten his perspective. I've never tried to audit his claim; is the number five ... or, eleven? Not critical, really; the point is not lost, no matter the number. All conflicts are not created equal. We have limited time, energy, focus, leverage; using our capacities to win the skirmishes that really count was his point.
I've spent the last 25 years asking myself - frequently - a simple question: is this the hill I want to die defending? The query was seldom, "could I win this if I was willing to go to the mat?" It was, instead, "is this victory worth what it would cost me?"
I watch people - frequently - who "bet the farm" on a relatively-meaningless clash. Often, they win ... and, ultimately, become losers. Picking the right fight is one of life's most strategic skill sets.
Hey, as a real-live, born-again, evangelical, Bible-believing Christian ... there's no lack of opportunity for conflict as we greet the Spring of '04. I can't turn on the TV/open the morning paper/ listen-in on the conversation at the next booth without finding myself at-odds - mentally - with the world around me. Tune in on Christian radio; open those bulk-mail envelopes in your mailbox; listen to Rush ... it isn't hard to get so fired-up that you're ready to put on your cultural Kevlar vest, strap on your munitions belt (we'd probably call it "girding our loins with the belt of truth" or something) and start shootin' at the bad guys who are trying to advance "the ______ agenda." Lock 'n load, baby; we're ready ...
It's not a good time for neutrals; pacifists are still among us ... but they seem to be a newly endangered species. "The lines are drawn in the sand" ... and we're finding our places, near the poles that represent the nonnegotiable extremes.
Right to Life, or abortion-on-demand? Gay marriage ... or a constitutional amendment that will, once and for all, define marriage as "boy/girl?" World Power ... or UN eunuch? Liberal or Conservative? Feminist ... or Chauvinist? Tolerant ... or Evangelical? Lots of battles underway; which one do you want to join?"
Take care, I probably will not post again until after I am settled in Tennessee.
My new address is: 905 Brancaster Lane, Nashville, TN 37211. The phone number is 615.331.1353.
Thursday, March 25, 2004
3/25/2004
6:33 a.m.
Sidebar...
My previous post was not directed at anyone person. It certainly was not an attack. The fact of that matter is that You (you know who you are) are not the only person in bad financial situation. The idea for my current train of thought was actually inspired by a person who I don't even thinks reads my sight, however they have been provided the link for it. It was not an attack on that person either. The post was originally going in a completely different direction, when after just finishing dinner with these people I decided to switch courses.
I don't remember having dinner with You (you know who you are.) This person whom I am speaking of is currently on deck to become a father and was dragged down the aisle shotgun style to marry the woman carrying his child. A child that quite frankly will probably end up on welfare one day because BOTH parents are more concerned with themselves than they are each other or the baby. My 18-year-old brother-in-law makes more money per hour than this individual does at 24, and my 18-year-old brother-in-law has more motivation and desire to succeed than this individual does.
I re-read my post, and cannot argue that a lot of points may fit, BUT that is merely coincidental. As for liking your husband, first and foremost you are correct, the only person who needs to love him is you. I don't know him well enough to make a judgment, but I will tell you this, a tremendous impression was made in October, one that made me feel really confident in your decision. However, there have been some pretty asinine statements made since then that makes me question not only my decision, but yours as well. I want to get to know him better. I am proud of the relationship I have with 2 of my brother-in-laws right now. I truly feel that they are my brothers, and they feel the same way. I would hope someday to have that same relationship with your husband.
Avoiding me will not allow that to happen. You have already been in a relationship that the alpha male removed you from your family; don't let that ever happen to you again. I don't think your husband is that way, but again, I don't know him well enough to find out. I really want to get to know him, but quite frankly get to know you again. Moving closer I hope will assist in this aspect.
In terms of finances, You were always the spendthrift, with me being the spender. What has happened? You used to be able to stretch a penny and turn it into a dollar while I would spend that dollar on a penny item. You have always turned to me when you needed help, and I have helped were possible. The wisdom I have learned during the past 2-3 years however is so exciting to me that I can't help but want to share it with the people I care about. For fear of turning into my father, I have lectured anyone who will take the time to listen on what I have learned. I am excited, and hope to be able to pass that excitement on.
Repeatedly in your blog, you have complained about financial issues. What if there was a solution? Wouldn't you want to solve the problem? I am telling you there is a solution; you just have to ready and willing to receive it.
I CAN HELP.
More importantly....
I WANT TO HELP!
Coming to visit for Easter is important not only for me, but for you and your husband as well. I would never set you up to be ambushed. With this in mind, I make the following offer. Come visit. I will pay your gas money to and from. If you get so pissed off that you do not want to stay, I will pay for you to stay at a hotel as opposed to our home. There you guy, an ironclad guarantee for a vacation that will cost you $0.00. FREE!!! You can't beat that offer.
In one of my all time favorite movies "War of the Roses," there is a scene where Danny Devito who plays a divorce attorney is talking to a prospective client and says, "...when a lawyer who gets $300 an hour wants to tell you something for free, you better listen." I feel like Devito at times, I have something of importance to share; I just need You to listen.
If you took my last post as an attack, I am sorry. The fact it has application to you however I cannot help.
6:33 a.m.
Sidebar...
My previous post was not directed at anyone person. It certainly was not an attack. The fact of that matter is that You (you know who you are) are not the only person in bad financial situation. The idea for my current train of thought was actually inspired by a person who I don't even thinks reads my sight, however they have been provided the link for it. It was not an attack on that person either. The post was originally going in a completely different direction, when after just finishing dinner with these people I decided to switch courses.
I don't remember having dinner with You (you know who you are.) This person whom I am speaking of is currently on deck to become a father and was dragged down the aisle shotgun style to marry the woman carrying his child. A child that quite frankly will probably end up on welfare one day because BOTH parents are more concerned with themselves than they are each other or the baby. My 18-year-old brother-in-law makes more money per hour than this individual does at 24, and my 18-year-old brother-in-law has more motivation and desire to succeed than this individual does.
I re-read my post, and cannot argue that a lot of points may fit, BUT that is merely coincidental. As for liking your husband, first and foremost you are correct, the only person who needs to love him is you. I don't know him well enough to make a judgment, but I will tell you this, a tremendous impression was made in October, one that made me feel really confident in your decision. However, there have been some pretty asinine statements made since then that makes me question not only my decision, but yours as well. I want to get to know him better. I am proud of the relationship I have with 2 of my brother-in-laws right now. I truly feel that they are my brothers, and they feel the same way. I would hope someday to have that same relationship with your husband.
Avoiding me will not allow that to happen. You have already been in a relationship that the alpha male removed you from your family; don't let that ever happen to you again. I don't think your husband is that way, but again, I don't know him well enough to find out. I really want to get to know him, but quite frankly get to know you again. Moving closer I hope will assist in this aspect.
In terms of finances, You were always the spendthrift, with me being the spender. What has happened? You used to be able to stretch a penny and turn it into a dollar while I would spend that dollar on a penny item. You have always turned to me when you needed help, and I have helped were possible. The wisdom I have learned during the past 2-3 years however is so exciting to me that I can't help but want to share it with the people I care about. For fear of turning into my father, I have lectured anyone who will take the time to listen on what I have learned. I am excited, and hope to be able to pass that excitement on.
Repeatedly in your blog, you have complained about financial issues. What if there was a solution? Wouldn't you want to solve the problem? I am telling you there is a solution; you just have to ready and willing to receive it.
I CAN HELP.
More importantly....
I WANT TO HELP!
Coming to visit for Easter is important not only for me, but for you and your husband as well. I would never set you up to be ambushed. With this in mind, I make the following offer. Come visit. I will pay your gas money to and from. If you get so pissed off that you do not want to stay, I will pay for you to stay at a hotel as opposed to our home. There you guy, an ironclad guarantee for a vacation that will cost you $0.00. FREE!!! You can't beat that offer.
In one of my all time favorite movies "War of the Roses," there is a scene where Danny Devito who plays a divorce attorney is talking to a prospective client and says, "...when a lawyer who gets $300 an hour wants to tell you something for free, you better listen." I feel like Devito at times, I have something of importance to share; I just need You to listen.
If you took my last post as an attack, I am sorry. The fact it has application to you however I cannot help.
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
3/23/2004
5:35 p.m.
Men vs. Boys (opening thoughts)
Perhaps the reason that I have chosen such a broad topic is to illustrate my train of though in regards to the issue of "being a man" versus "acting like a boy." I am probably the last person who should be writing on this topic, since a lot of times I like to have fun. Childish fun. I think what qualifies however is the fact that I know when the time is appropriate to play, and when it is time to be serious. In other words, I can act like a boy, but it is just that, an act. When the responsibilities of life call, I act as a man. Therefore, with that out of the way, I feel as though I have offered enough qualifications to certify me to divulge on this subject matter.
What defines a man? Well, I think there are 2 answers to that question, at least on the level that I would like to explore this subject. I state that there are 2 answers for 1 simple reason, we have married men, and we have single men. Answer 1 would be directed towards the single man. He frankly has nothing to worry about other than himself. He is faced with the day-to-day decisions to make himself happy, not having to worry about anybody else except himself. Live for today, plan for tomorrow, but that plan only includes himself. Not terribly complicated, but likewise not terrible exciting, and perhaps lonely.
Answer 2 is for the married man. Marriage brings on a whole new world of responsibility. Now instead of it being only oneself, his realm of responsibility must be enlarged to include his wife, and children if there are any. What makes this scenario interesting is that historically the man has always been the “bread winner” in a family setting. Yes, you could argue those women who were single worked, typically and stereotypically as teachers and secretaries. While there is a precedent for a woman working, it has not been in “bread winning” careers such as the role man has always assumed. Woman who did work, worked out of necessity, and typically only for a “season” to ease the burden at home, not shoulder the burden.
Why bring up this fact. Quite simple if you ask me. It is the mans responsibility to provide for his wife, not for the wife to provide for the husband in terms of being the “bread winner.”
“…when I was a child, I spoke and acted as a child. When I became a man, I put away childish things and acted like a man.”
The obvious argument to this train of thought is the old adage, “we need the money 2 incomes provide.” Fine. But what happens when you have children? Who raises the children, day care centers and baby sitters? At what point do you make the life adjustment to live off of only the husband’s income and break the second income dependency?
It bothers me when I see people around me who are so selfish in their own lives to not make the necessary changes to support their wives. The woman should not be the main “bread winner.” It is the mans job, and he needs to step up and be a man and find a job that can provide an income that makes the family comfortable.
I hate to keep bringing up poker analogies, but they are so true for life. An interesting concept in poker is called “pot odds.” Basically what it means is taking the cost of the next bet versus the probability that your cards are the best cards currently in play and factoring how much you would win versus how much you have already invested in the pot. Life sometimes requires you to evaluate pot odds. If you are stuck in the same job as you were 2, 3, 5, 10+ years ago, and the rate of pay hasn’t kept pace with your life, or more importantly cost of living, than you need to reevaluate your “hand” and fold and move on to the next one.
If you are living at home with Mommy or Daddy, or both (and you know who you are, we had dinner with you last night) and you are not paying rent to somebody, you are screwing with your own financial success. Think about it, if you live at home with an in-law, and you are living rent free, when the time comes to move on, you are not conditioned to pay rent. As such, it will become a tremendous burden when the time comes to make that rent or mortgage payment. If you get into the habit now of paying yourself rent, and placing that money in an account you don’t have access to, look how much money you would have saved when it comes time to move out and either rent or purchase a place of your own.
The man, as head of the household should be seeing to it that the steps necessary to get out of Mommy or Daddies house are being taken to make the stay as short as possible.
Living with Mommy or Daddy for longer than a “season” is the coward’s way, and demonstrates that the husband has not stepped up to his role as leader of his household.
To close this portion, I would make the following 2 challenges:
#1. Take your age, and multiply it by $1000. That is the minimum you should be working for right now. If you are getting more, great. If you aren’t even close, stop fooling yourself and start looking for a new job.
#2. If you are living at home, START PAYING RENT TO YOURSELF, TO GET YOU OUT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. The freeloading should stop TODAY.
5:35 p.m.
Men vs. Boys (opening thoughts)
Perhaps the reason that I have chosen such a broad topic is to illustrate my train of though in regards to the issue of "being a man" versus "acting like a boy." I am probably the last person who should be writing on this topic, since a lot of times I like to have fun. Childish fun. I think what qualifies however is the fact that I know when the time is appropriate to play, and when it is time to be serious. In other words, I can act like a boy, but it is just that, an act. When the responsibilities of life call, I act as a man. Therefore, with that out of the way, I feel as though I have offered enough qualifications to certify me to divulge on this subject matter.
What defines a man? Well, I think there are 2 answers to that question, at least on the level that I would like to explore this subject. I state that there are 2 answers for 1 simple reason, we have married men, and we have single men. Answer 1 would be directed towards the single man. He frankly has nothing to worry about other than himself. He is faced with the day-to-day decisions to make himself happy, not having to worry about anybody else except himself. Live for today, plan for tomorrow, but that plan only includes himself. Not terribly complicated, but likewise not terrible exciting, and perhaps lonely.
Answer 2 is for the married man. Marriage brings on a whole new world of responsibility. Now instead of it being only oneself, his realm of responsibility must be enlarged to include his wife, and children if there are any. What makes this scenario interesting is that historically the man has always been the “bread winner” in a family setting. Yes, you could argue those women who were single worked, typically and stereotypically as teachers and secretaries. While there is a precedent for a woman working, it has not been in “bread winning” careers such as the role man has always assumed. Woman who did work, worked out of necessity, and typically only for a “season” to ease the burden at home, not shoulder the burden.
Why bring up this fact. Quite simple if you ask me. It is the mans responsibility to provide for his wife, not for the wife to provide for the husband in terms of being the “bread winner.”
“…when I was a child, I spoke and acted as a child. When I became a man, I put away childish things and acted like a man.”
The obvious argument to this train of thought is the old adage, “we need the money 2 incomes provide.” Fine. But what happens when you have children? Who raises the children, day care centers and baby sitters? At what point do you make the life adjustment to live off of only the husband’s income and break the second income dependency?
It bothers me when I see people around me who are so selfish in their own lives to not make the necessary changes to support their wives. The woman should not be the main “bread winner.” It is the mans job, and he needs to step up and be a man and find a job that can provide an income that makes the family comfortable.
I hate to keep bringing up poker analogies, but they are so true for life. An interesting concept in poker is called “pot odds.” Basically what it means is taking the cost of the next bet versus the probability that your cards are the best cards currently in play and factoring how much you would win versus how much you have already invested in the pot. Life sometimes requires you to evaluate pot odds. If you are stuck in the same job as you were 2, 3, 5, 10+ years ago, and the rate of pay hasn’t kept pace with your life, or more importantly cost of living, than you need to reevaluate your “hand” and fold and move on to the next one.
If you are living at home with Mommy or Daddy, or both (and you know who you are, we had dinner with you last night) and you are not paying rent to somebody, you are screwing with your own financial success. Think about it, if you live at home with an in-law, and you are living rent free, when the time comes to move on, you are not conditioned to pay rent. As such, it will become a tremendous burden when the time comes to make that rent or mortgage payment. If you get into the habit now of paying yourself rent, and placing that money in an account you don’t have access to, look how much money you would have saved when it comes time to move out and either rent or purchase a place of your own.
The man, as head of the household should be seeing to it that the steps necessary to get out of Mommy or Daddies house are being taken to make the stay as short as possible.
Living with Mommy or Daddy for longer than a “season” is the coward’s way, and demonstrates that the husband has not stepped up to his role as leader of his household.
To close this portion, I would make the following 2 challenges:
#1. Take your age, and multiply it by $1000. That is the minimum you should be working for right now. If you are getting more, great. If you aren’t even close, stop fooling yourself and start looking for a new job.
#2. If you are living at home, START PAYING RENT TO YOURSELF, TO GET YOU OUT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. The freeloading should stop TODAY.
Thursday, March 18, 2004
3/18/2004
4:49 p.m.
I don't blog enough, or so my sister says. So, I will ramble on about what I did today. This is an attempt to help you appreciate the serious writing I have done. By learning to appreciate my writing more, you will long for more of it.
Last night we went to the mall. I discovered an artist Michael Goddard, whose work I like. It is out there a little bit, but I think is interesting to the eye. Here is a link If you scroll to the bottom of the page, the painting titled "Twisted Martini" I hope to be acquiring for my upstairs gameroom. I think it will look good over the pool table I haven't bought yet.
All the papers are signed to sell our house here in California. Now we wait for the loan to fund and we will be sold 100%. I am so excited. Today was spent coordinating the Tennessee end of this transaction. Things should flow smoothly. Worst case scenario is we close once we are in Tennessee, but that will cost us extra money being we won't be there until April. Oh well, what will happen will happen.
That is all for now, enjoy yourself until the next time I write.
4:49 p.m.
I don't blog enough, or so my sister says. So, I will ramble on about what I did today. This is an attempt to help you appreciate the serious writing I have done. By learning to appreciate my writing more, you will long for more of it.
Last night we went to the mall. I discovered an artist Michael Goddard, whose work I like. It is out there a little bit, but I think is interesting to the eye. Here is a link If you scroll to the bottom of the page, the painting titled "Twisted Martini" I hope to be acquiring for my upstairs gameroom. I think it will look good over the pool table I haven't bought yet.
All the papers are signed to sell our house here in California. Now we wait for the loan to fund and we will be sold 100%. I am so excited. Today was spent coordinating the Tennessee end of this transaction. Things should flow smoothly. Worst case scenario is we close once we are in Tennessee, but that will cost us extra money being we won't be there until April. Oh well, what will happen will happen.
That is all for now, enjoy yourself until the next time I write.
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
3/17/2004
8:32 a.m.
Play life like you play poker, part 3.
THE STONE COLD BLUFF
Sometimes you just need to step out there, and bluff. It doesn't matter what you are holding. If you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain, the stone cold bluff is for you.
What is a stone cold bluff you ask. It is simply a hand in poker, were you are holding nothing, but bet as if you had everything. The beautiful thing about this move is if your opponent folds, you win the pot. Bet as if you have the "nuts" and make your opponent pay to beat you.
In life, a stone cold bluff can be used in a variety of situations. I have used it in the past with Cornel. He called me once on my bluff, and ended up losing his car for a week. Be ready to follow through with your bluff, but know when to lay it down and walk away. This part is delicate. Walking away can be hard, even when you are on a rush, and you are confident of your bluff. Be greedy, yes, but know when to walk. You can lose it as fast as you win it.
Use the stone cold bluff to your advantage. Make it your own, and use it to better yourself.
Have fun with it, but when you bluff and win, NEVER, EVER show your hole cards. Let your opponent think you won, don't show them that you bluffed. You will get called on the river each and everytime from then on.
The stone cold bluff. Win, even when you should lose.
8:32 a.m.
Play life like you play poker, part 3.
THE STONE COLD BLUFF
Sometimes you just need to step out there, and bluff. It doesn't matter what you are holding. If you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain, the stone cold bluff is for you.
What is a stone cold bluff you ask. It is simply a hand in poker, were you are holding nothing, but bet as if you had everything. The beautiful thing about this move is if your opponent folds, you win the pot. Bet as if you have the "nuts" and make your opponent pay to beat you.
In life, a stone cold bluff can be used in a variety of situations. I have used it in the past with Cornel. He called me once on my bluff, and ended up losing his car for a week. Be ready to follow through with your bluff, but know when to lay it down and walk away. This part is delicate. Walking away can be hard, even when you are on a rush, and you are confident of your bluff. Be greedy, yes, but know when to walk. You can lose it as fast as you win it.
Use the stone cold bluff to your advantage. Make it your own, and use it to better yourself.
Have fun with it, but when you bluff and win, NEVER, EVER show your hole cards. Let your opponent think you won, don't show them that you bluffed. You will get called on the river each and everytime from then on.
The stone cold bluff. Win, even when you should lose.
Friday, March 12, 2004
3/12/2004
3:38 p.m.
Rachel, this one is for you.
You got the shaft this week. Ain't nobody gonna disagree with me on this one. The company that alledgedly hired you screwed you royally. But why?
Are people really that mean, or inconsiderate. Granted, I know your days at Scent Air were numbered anyway, but to take somebody out of a paying job and place them in a position to be let go for no legitimate reason other than poor management makes no sense to me whatsoever.
When I read the e-mail from Rachel yesterday, I was heartbroken for her. Say what you will about Rachel, I know that she poors her heart and soul into her job, and the employer always gets way more than what they are compensating Rachel for.
But why would these people pull such a cruel prank and screw with peoples livelihood? What sadistic manager made this decision to do as they did? I wish I knew the name of the new company, I want to call them to let them know what bastards they are. I want to write a letter to the commission that names "the best companies to work for in Orlando" and tell them how great they are. I think the world should know the kind've people that work for this particular company.
It isn't right what they did, and I think they need to be accountable for their actions and bring about a right when they have enacted so much wrong. That company needs to make things right with Rachel. She requested a letter, and quite frankly they owe it to her to give her such a letter.
Bastards. I hope their company goes bankrupt, and I hope the management team gets indicted on securities fraud. I hope their building burns down. I hope they get a really big contract from a major customer and get stiffed for payment. I hope the stay at home lady can't perform as she has in the past, and that they need to hire somebody else. I just hope it is a friend of Rachel who has had a chance to learn what scumbags these people are.
They deserve it.
Am I mad, you bet I am mad.
Rachel, you deserve better than what you get. I hope and pray that you find the right job. It is out there for you, you just need to find it. Since your husband Jim likes to quote from music, I will honor him with this...
"...you take 2 steps forward, I take 2 steps back. but in the end, opposites attract"
-Paula Abdul
-Opposites Attract
You deserve better Rachel, GO FIND IT!!!
3:38 p.m.
Rachel, this one is for you.
You got the shaft this week. Ain't nobody gonna disagree with me on this one. The company that alledgedly hired you screwed you royally. But why?
Are people really that mean, or inconsiderate. Granted, I know your days at Scent Air were numbered anyway, but to take somebody out of a paying job and place them in a position to be let go for no legitimate reason other than poor management makes no sense to me whatsoever.
When I read the e-mail from Rachel yesterday, I was heartbroken for her. Say what you will about Rachel, I know that she poors her heart and soul into her job, and the employer always gets way more than what they are compensating Rachel for.
But why would these people pull such a cruel prank and screw with peoples livelihood? What sadistic manager made this decision to do as they did? I wish I knew the name of the new company, I want to call them to let them know what bastards they are. I want to write a letter to the commission that names "the best companies to work for in Orlando" and tell them how great they are. I think the world should know the kind've people that work for this particular company.
It isn't right what they did, and I think they need to be accountable for their actions and bring about a right when they have enacted so much wrong. That company needs to make things right with Rachel. She requested a letter, and quite frankly they owe it to her to give her such a letter.
Bastards. I hope their company goes bankrupt, and I hope the management team gets indicted on securities fraud. I hope their building burns down. I hope they get a really big contract from a major customer and get stiffed for payment. I hope the stay at home lady can't perform as she has in the past, and that they need to hire somebody else. I just hope it is a friend of Rachel who has had a chance to learn what scumbags these people are.
They deserve it.
Am I mad, you bet I am mad.
Rachel, you deserve better than what you get. I hope and pray that you find the right job. It is out there for you, you just need to find it. Since your husband Jim likes to quote from music, I will honor him with this...
"...you take 2 steps forward, I take 2 steps back. but in the end, opposites attract"
-Paula Abdul
-Opposites Attract
You deserve better Rachel, GO FIND IT!!!
Saturday, March 06, 2004
3/6/2004
9:08 a.m.
Play life like you play poker, part 2...
I was thinking yesterday afternoon about poker. This is a thing I do a lot. I had been playing online at pokerroom.com, and wanted to address further my thoughts from the other day.
One key to a good poker player is knowing your outs. Life is a hand of cards. Sometimes you don't change hands for years. Each life circumstance is an individual hand. Often times you end up playing against yourself. This is were knowing your outs comes in handy.
Go with me for a moment, assume your job is a hand of poker. Is it a good job? Is it ace/ace good? Maybe you would define it as a pair of Jacks, or worse, a pair of 2's. Could it be the hand you are holding is junk? Knowing the probability of improving your hand from the onset helps determine what you do with the cards. Junk, fold it. Ace's, hold and hope to improve.
I was playing poker the other day at Hawaiin Gardens Casino and caught a pair of ace's in the hole. The best starting hand you can possibly have. As the cards continued to fall though, my ace's became weak against other hands and I was forced to fold them. I knew my outs, I knew what I needed to improve, but also knew when to lay down. Of course, the best starting hand in the world is nothing if it can't be improved upon. Life is that way as well.
What can be done to improve the hand I am holding. Since you don't get to choose your own cards, you need to play the ones dealt to you.
Learn your outs. Use that knowledge to your advantage. Don't be afraid to bluff once in a while, but be prepared to fold when you know you have lost.
9:08 a.m.
Play life like you play poker, part 2...
I was thinking yesterday afternoon about poker. This is a thing I do a lot. I had been playing online at pokerroom.com, and wanted to address further my thoughts from the other day.
One key to a good poker player is knowing your outs. Life is a hand of cards. Sometimes you don't change hands for years. Each life circumstance is an individual hand. Often times you end up playing against yourself. This is were knowing your outs comes in handy.
Go with me for a moment, assume your job is a hand of poker. Is it a good job? Is it ace/ace good? Maybe you would define it as a pair of Jacks, or worse, a pair of 2's. Could it be the hand you are holding is junk? Knowing the probability of improving your hand from the onset helps determine what you do with the cards. Junk, fold it. Ace's, hold and hope to improve.
I was playing poker the other day at Hawaiin Gardens Casino and caught a pair of ace's in the hole. The best starting hand you can possibly have. As the cards continued to fall though, my ace's became weak against other hands and I was forced to fold them. I knew my outs, I knew what I needed to improve, but also knew when to lay down. Of course, the best starting hand in the world is nothing if it can't be improved upon. Life is that way as well.
What can be done to improve the hand I am holding. Since you don't get to choose your own cards, you need to play the ones dealt to you.
Learn your outs. Use that knowledge to your advantage. Don't be afraid to bluff once in a while, but be prepared to fold when you know you have lost.
Thursday, March 04, 2004
3/4/2004
10:40 a.m.
Play life, like you play poker...
Geta always gets mad at me because I am constantly drawing poker into life. Think about it though, the way you play poker is the way you play life. You are always faced with the same choices, call the bet, raise the bet, fold the hand or check the hand.
Let's look at each a little bit further in depth to examine if you are giving each option a fair shake...
Call the Bet:
This one is the obvious, a nice safe approach. Probably not to much risk. This option doesn't force you to put all your chips in the pot, while allowing you the oppurtunity to see what is next.
Raise the Bet:
Take a risk. Put others on the defensive. Be a step ahead instead of following the lead of others. This is the time to bluff, make them call you. Put the percieved risk in the other persons court. Watch how they react and adjust accordingly. You can learn a lot from a person by raising. Use the tool to your advantage.
Check the Hand:
A safe play, but even if you win, could you have won more? Is being complacent always the best move. Does no action reward better than a action?
Fold the Hand:
Know when you are drawing dead. You can't get any better than were you are at. This is the time to quit a job, end a relationship or make a life change. Never be to quick to fold, but know when to fold based on all the information available to you.
It is better to risk it all and lose, than to never take the risk and always wonder, "what if?"
Many people who are successful in life have failed prior to hitting the big one. Keep that in mind as you play life safe. Don't be afraid to mix it up from time to time and raise the ante for your opponents.
Don't play life scared...
10:40 a.m.
Play life, like you play poker...
Geta always gets mad at me because I am constantly drawing poker into life. Think about it though, the way you play poker is the way you play life. You are always faced with the same choices, call the bet, raise the bet, fold the hand or check the hand.
Let's look at each a little bit further in depth to examine if you are giving each option a fair shake...
Call the Bet:
This one is the obvious, a nice safe approach. Probably not to much risk. This option doesn't force you to put all your chips in the pot, while allowing you the oppurtunity to see what is next.
Raise the Bet:
Take a risk. Put others on the defensive. Be a step ahead instead of following the lead of others. This is the time to bluff, make them call you. Put the percieved risk in the other persons court. Watch how they react and adjust accordingly. You can learn a lot from a person by raising. Use the tool to your advantage.
Check the Hand:
A safe play, but even if you win, could you have won more? Is being complacent always the best move. Does no action reward better than a action?
Fold the Hand:
Know when you are drawing dead. You can't get any better than were you are at. This is the time to quit a job, end a relationship or make a life change. Never be to quick to fold, but know when to fold based on all the information available to you.
It is better to risk it all and lose, than to never take the risk and always wonder, "what if?"
Many people who are successful in life have failed prior to hitting the big one. Keep that in mind as you play life safe. Don't be afraid to mix it up from time to time and raise the ante for your opponents.
Don't play life scared...
